If only I were a giant, with legs so long that with a few steps I can reach you… with hands so large that I can lift you up and away from the pain… with a heart so spacious that I can safely house you there. But I am so small and powerless, all I have are my words and prayers, and even those are faltering. O the children.
“Children went out to play during the three hours of ceasefire…. it was the first time they went outside of the building in 12 days. Psychiatrists fear that the children will never recover from their wounds.” Children playing in Gaza, [7 January 2009 LN]
So began the first blog post I ever wrote. I was living in the Bay Area, working at Link TV in San Francisco, translating Arabic news. I still remember the faces of the children in that report, especially of one girl who was not amongst those playing. She stood on the rubble of an apartment building, her parents buried underneath her feet. Her eyes were large and green. Beautiful and traumatized.
Recurring nightmare
The children of then are the young adults of today. If you were one of them, how would you define justice? If I were one of them, would I still believe in peace?
And what about the children born today, or worse - the little ones old enough to remember the horrors of today tomorrow. And they are not alone. For while Israeli children seem better protected, their psyches are also tarnished, living in fear of being killed by ‘the enemy’ surrounding them and in their midst. Indeed, to the brain, there is no difference between perceived threat and actual threat. There are no winners here.
Trauma is passed on from one generation to the next, and it takes several generations to heal. We have never given children the chance to recover. We have never healed ourselves. The ill can only breed more dis-ease. It does not take a PhD to see a connection between trauma and violence, but it takes a dreamer to believe that the damage is not irreversible. Can we ever heal? Palestinians, Israelis and beyond?
Trauma is inherited, but - we are told - so is resilience.
The children in this photo would have been in their seventies and eighties today. The handful that might have been alive last year probably didn’t survive this last offensive. There is so much a heart can take before it breaks for good. Displaced from their original homes, these little barefoot humans lived in tents waiting to return; eventually giving up and making that narrow strip against the sea their home. They witnessed many attacks, losing family members or limbs, with each ‘season’ lasting longer than its predecessor, each episode bloodier.
How old are you? he asks,
Five wars old, she responds.
The war at the end of 2008 lasted three weeks and killed around 1,400 people. The one in 2014 lasted seven weeks, with about 2,100 dead. There were more ‘operations’ over the years, but the most recent is the most brutal yet. Three months have become four, with a death toll exceeding 27,000 - more than 10,000 are children – or shall I say, were children. The still un-dead are homeless and starving. It’s expected that “deaths from disease and hunger could soon surpass conflict-related deaths.”
‘Uninhabitable’ was promised, and we’re getting there (even though settlers are already planning to move in). Most homes have been destroyed. Infrastructure has no structure left. The majority of trees have been uprooted or burnt. The amount of poison in the soil and underground water must be enormous. Ninety percent of schools and universities are damaged beyond repair, and the academic institutions still standing are being used as shelters for the displaced, military basis, or gravesites.
Which is more merciful, I wonder… to die quickly in an explosion, or to live with bloody memories and eventually starve to death? Or to stay alive against all odds - with no family left and nothing to look forward to except for revenge.
Taxing dissonance
The war of 2008 sent me back to Jordan, after 15 years of living in the USA. I never thought I’d leave, but I could no longer justify staying in a country where my taxes funded the killing of my people. Fifteen years later, I’m living in the Netherlands, still paying taxes to the US as well as to the Dutch government. Both countries are funding and supporting the annihilation of my people.
Taxing dissonance. Compromised conscience.
Do we dare to stop paying? Some brave might …could I… would you?
The dictionary speaks:
Tax: A compulsory financial contribution imposed by the government.
A burdensome demand, change, obligation.
In Dutch, the word is Belasting, which as a verb means ‘to strain.’
In Arabic, it’s ضريبة (dareeebah) which comes from darb: to hit, beat up.
Your hard earned money and mine is used to fund wars across the globe. Our labor bears the rotting fruit of dead children. The babies who live are fattened up and brain washed to become slaves and ammunition for the war machine. This a fact and it’s nothing new. Human history is a shiny string of wars, displacements, marginalisations colonisations and thefts, and lies upon lies. From the Native Americans, to the Africans, the Armenians, the Jews, the Kurds, the Sudanese, the Palestinians and the list goes on. We keep getting better at it, developing advanced technologies, autonomous weapons… killer drones. Artificial Intelligence has already raised the bar and promises to revolutionise the game even further. Sensational. Keep watching. Who is benefiting?
“Any war is ultimately a war on children… We need to do everything we can to reach all children in need, particularly the most vulnerable.” UNICEF Executive Director Catherine Russell
O Ms Russel, I’d hate to have your job. Reminded at every corner of the inadequacy and failure of our organisations, our nations… our world. Even the UNRWA is now under attack - soon they’ll call it a terrorist organization, if that’s not done already.
WHERE is the HOPE?
إذ استعصى عليك أمر فاستشر طفلك" العقاد"
”If there's something you cannot resolve, consult your child.” Abbas Al-Aqaad (Egyptian writer/thinker 1889-1964)
Let’s ask the children what we should do. They might invite us to play a game of make-believe. Sending us into the Mediterranean sea, not to mine GAS1 but to search for the lost jewel that will set us free, by making us realise that we seek is in our possession already2.
What could the lost jewel be?
Child, tell me!
War on humanity [Audio]
This is a war against our humanity
Making us demonise the other
Making us blind to our faults
Justifying crime and revenge
Our humanity is at stake.
Call me an animal
I will not cringe
For they are superior
They do not go against the will of their creator
They do not commit genocide
Our humanity is at stake
Our ability to see the other in ourselves
Ourselves in the other
Nursed on hate
What a pity- we could have been raised on love
O, the cursed sons and daughters of Abraham
Sacrificed over and over again
How could we have reached this point
So far from what was promised
So far from the light
The kingdom of heaven…
What has it brought us
Can it be built on spilt blood
If we plant tomato seeds, we get tomatoes
If we plant war, there can never be peace
It’s a vicious cycle
Look at the war on terror and the terror it’s brought
Listen to the mothers mourning their children
Listen and weep
The kingdom of heaven…
How about we make it queendom.
(L.N. 17 October, 2023)
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A GASSY TALE: The rich offshore gas reserves in Gaza might just be a primary motivation for the war. Indeed, aren’t natural resources always a good reason to start a war or fabricate a nuclear plant, a terrorist cell or a dictator regime? As for Gaza gas, there’s a lot to read on line, here are a few links for the non-googlers:
Workers.org: Behind Israel’s ‘end game’ for Gaza: Theft of offshore gas reserves, and MiddleEastEye: Israel-Palestine war: Israel wants to seize Gaza's multibillion dollar gas field and AtmosEarth: This Genocide Is About Oil
And an excellent short-film by Richard Medhurst Is Israel's War on Gaza Actually About Gas?
Ofcourse, the gas could also be used to rebuild Gaza, and as a negotiation card to calm the Palestinians down, as it seems the US is trying to broker … but most likely, it will not benefit the people if Gaza. If the plan of the New Middle East that was presented by Netanyahu in September 2023 goes through - supported by benefiting Arab and EU nations, then behold a new reality - for me and for you.
Inspired by Tale of the Three Jewels (1995) - a film from Gaza that warmed my heart twenty years ago, as it did again this week, where children play, dream and love. You can find it online in full - it’s worth watching.